Why You Shouldn't Get the Last Word
This post is extremely important when it comes to your relational confidence. In the past, if I felt I had misspoken I talked more to fix what I previously said - This led to rambling or talking in circles, and ultimately left me powerless. I had a real problem! For some reason I felt compelled to have the last say - to “over explain” my intentions or my opinions.
& GUESS WHAT ……
I was wrong.
By over-explaining your reasoning you leave yourself in a powerless state of communication. This, like everything else in the world of words and body language - takes practice.
Let. Me. Explain.
When you ramble out of nervousness or guilt, you present a lack of confidence. I continued talking on & on waiting for a sign of approval or understanding from whomever I was conversation with. My goal? To be right. To be heard. To be understood.
In practicing my self-confidence I learned eventually too, how to let it shine through my communication with others. This is especially difficult if you’re in a position to please or impress someone.
To prevent giving into the urge to get that last word, try these simple steps below :
PAUSE BEFORE YOU SPEAK! Obviously right? We’ve been told since little people to “think before you speak” . There is SO much power in hesitating before giving an answer - no matter how appealing it is to splatter off at the mouth. Why? It presents “composure”. By pausing before responding it is as if you are calm and collect - VERY important in interviews, professional conversations, friends, and even family. This is a handy talk-tool for any situation because NO ONE wants to over-analyze publicly. Analyzing is necessary - but unless you’re transparent for the purpose of inspiring others pausing is a positive communication trait to have. As an added bonus, when you resist answering quickly - you’re showing the other person that you value listening to their words.
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, MEAN WHAT YOU SAY. Unless you severely screw up and need to apologize - let your words rest where they may. Another reason for my over-explanation was the need to help others understand my intention. I wanted so badly for others to hear what I meant without misinterpretation. Unless you eat STRESS for breakfast - because you enjoy it, leave this one alone! It is stressful to micromanage another person’s thought and analytical skills. Not only is it stressful, but it’s completely unnecessary - when you speak into the world it will always be a double edged sword. Some will take offense and others will be inspired. This is not your pill to swallow. So RELAX. Have good intentions, practice those social skills, and learn that even if you do offend someone - over explaining isn’t called for unless you absolutely need to apologize. Everyone has an opinion. Own yours. There is a caveat to this - BODY LANGUAGE is a huge help OR detriment to your words. Talk with compassion rather than slaying with condemnation. You’ll catch more flies with honey ;)
YOUR EYES SHALL SEE. When you resist that beautiful temptation to have the last say - you learn more about yourself & others. It’s a way to force yourself into active listening rather than thinking ahead of your next big line. Think about it, if you’re the type that like to have the last word - you’re likely thinking about your big comeback while the other person is talking. NO NO NO NO NO - Just Don’t. You might as well talk to a wall. **Insert hand on face emoji*
Let me know how this works for you!
INSTAGRAM : @mrs.ashleymrodriguez
OR comment below!